


Want som fuk

by Ya_Boi_Hal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (it's ennoshita), Genderfluid Yamaguchi Tadashi, Multi, Never forget Narita and Kinoshita 2k17, Save Tanaka he's trying his best, Trans Azumane Asahi, Trans Nishinoya Yuu, Tsukishima craves death, for when i get bored and have nothing better to write, hinata has ADHD, join me is coach ukai x tsuksihima akiteru rarepair hell, this is just a crappy gc fic, whoops kazoo and kink get a new bf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11371941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ya_Boi_Hal/pseuds/Ya_Boi_Hal
Summary: Sugass: I can’t believe Kinoshita is dead againGuardianDick: RIPMcBitch: he let dat dik do the talking and now he’s deadKINKo: my fatal flaw,,,,, dat dik,,,,,,,





	1. Chapter 1

[7 AM]

Tank has added MilkMan, No.10, Yacchan, McBitch, and Insomniac to ‘I can’t believe Narita and Kinoshita are dead’ 

 

Tank: welcome first years :’)

GuardianDick: They get invited to group chats so fast :’) 

No.10: !!!Tanaka and Noya Senpai!!!

Tank: HINATA!!!

GuardianDick: CALL US SENPAI AGAIN BLEASE  
CaptainCrunch: damn y’all thirsty af 

Sugass: damn, Daichi with the hurtful words 

CaptainCrunch: I get it from you :^) 

Sugass: cute :^) 

DirectorSHIT: stop flirting ur scaring the first years 

Nah: No that was our fellow second years

Tank: The hurt is real Narita. The hurt is real. 

Nah: good. 

Sugass: TANAKA HAS BEEN SHOT. I REPEAT TANAKA HAS BEEN SHOT

McBitch: Baldy down, I repeat, Baldy DOWN

Tank: who hurt you?

KINKo: me ;)

CaptainCrunch: BANNED 

DirectorSHIT: stfu u werido no one wants to hear about ur sex life

Nah: seconded.   
Nah: I don’t even want to hear it.

KINKo: Babe,,,,,, 

Sugass: I can’t believe Kinoshita is dead again

GuardianDick: RIP

McBitch: he let dat dik do the talking and now he’s dead

KINKo: my fatal flaw,,,,, dat dik,,,,,,,

CaptainCrunch: ok tho real quick,  
CaptainCrunch: who’s McBitch and who’s Insomniac?  
CaptainCrunch: The rest are obvious but???

McBitch: I’m Yamaguchi and Tsukki is Insomniac! 

Sugass: Oh!   
Sugass: That makes more sense!   
Sugass: Because Tsukishima is always so tired!

Insomnia: really? Hadn’t noticed,,,,, :^) 

McBitch: drink ur sugary coffee and chill tf out 

Insomnia: :^) :^) :^) U wanna go? 

McBitch: u are literally almost laying on the bus stop bench   
McBitch: u cant even get up to fight me 

Insomnia: ,,,don’t call me out like this 

CaptainCrunch: are you like??   
CaptainCrunch: alive enough to practice?

Insomnia: no :^) 

McBitch: he hasn’t properly slept all week

Insomnia: I’m waiting for my eye bags to match my uniform before I do 

DirectorSHIT: bitch me to wtf 

No.10: Same 

MilkMan: How are you all alive? 

Insomnia: spite mostly 

No.10: I like naps! :D

McBitch: hell yeah you like naps you cute little nugget 

No.10: That is me! A cute little nugget! :D :D :D 

GuardianDick: He’s,,, He’s so pure? 

Sugass: I want to protect him? 

No.10: all according to plan :D

McBitch: wtf 

MilkMan: Hinata is scary   
MilkMan: he could kill someone and get away with it   
MilkMan: and we would all still be wrapped around his finger 

Yacchan: Hinata is determined enough to do anything including murder 

Insomnia: that’s exhausting :/ 

Insomnia: I’m tired just thinking about the effort that must take

No.10: I have so much energy and drive I could keep going until eventual Executive Dysfunction and depression naps stop me :D 

Sugass: I’m shook   
Sugass: The only thing temporarily keeping him from ruling the earth is his ADHD   
Sugass: and even that won’t stop him for long

No.10”: I am learn fast and try my best :D

CaptainCrunch: scary,,,  
CaptainCrunch: Hinata, ur just scary. 

Asahi: oh no he’s going to kill me to be the ace soon  
Asahi: I’m too young to die

No.10: killing you would just take the fun away from beating you! Plus I respect you and your playing ability too much to try to take your (or Tanaka’s) spot as ace! 

Asahi: ok  
Asahi: I think that;s good   
Asahi: skdjaa 

Tank: THAT WAS SO SWEET (I think?) 

CaptainCrunch: assembly is about to start, turn ur phones off 

Sugass: sheesh ok buzzkill

GuardianDick: Boo!

Tank: see y’all at practice

No.10: I can’t wait!!!! :D


	2. ot3/4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops yamaguchi is genderfluid, Asahi is a transgirl, and Noya is a transguy. And everyone is lgbt+ lmao

[12 AM]

GuardianDick: feed me mother  
GuardianDick: I am wasting away 

Sugass: bitch u talking to me?  
Sugass: get ur own fucking food 

Asahi: I got extra! Meet outside? 

GuardianDick: my own mother betraith me,,, thank you love of my life,,, asahi my beautiful bouncing babe,,,, I love you,,,, u feed me lauch when no 1 else would,,,,

Asahi: <3 <3 <3 

Tank: GeT SOME YUU

GuardianDick: YEET *sic dab*

DirectorShit: y’all have a test later  
DirectorShit: It would be a shame if  
DirectorShit: u failed it 

Tank: I STUDIED THIS  
Tank: WITH MY GF 

Nah: at least make up a good cover up smh 

KINKo: you at least make it believable man :/  
KINKo: you gotta sell it 

CaptainCrunch: Pics or it didn’t happen 

Tank: [She’sSoPretty?.jpg]  
Tank: SHE STUDY HARD  
Tank: SHE LOV ME SHOUT 

DirectorShit: who is she???  
DirectorShit: this brave soul???

Tank: Suzumeda Kaori from Fukurōdani Academy owns my whole ass pass it on  
Tank: she’s a first year manager  
Tank: I met her at the bbq during the training camp and fell in love <3 

GuardianDick: GET SOME RYUUU

Tank: HELL YEAH YUU I AM GETTING ALL OF THAT LOVE AND RESPECT 

GuardianDick: GET EM GET EM 

CaptainCrunch: I’m shook,,,  
CaptainCrunch: she’s real 

Sugass: RIP her lmao 

Tank: hey :(

No.10: I’m so happy for you Tanaka-san!!! :D 

Tank: THANK!!!!!!!!!

MilkMan: HER FRECKLES?  
MilkMAn: ARE CUTE? 

Tank: THEY ARE! ! ! 

Insomnia: u know who else has freckles,  
Insomnia: Yamaguchi,,,, ;^) 

McBitch: SAKLJDKAJDKASJD NO TSUKKI 

Insomnia: ;^) 

MilkMan: HE DOES!!!!!  
MilkMan: HE’s CUTE TOO!

No.10: #shook  
No.10: Yamaguchi is cute!!! :O 

Sugass: Did,, Tsukishima just flirt for Yamaguchi w/ the other 2 first years? 

Insomnia: @ me next time  
Insomnia: …Maybe 

McBitch: ASKJDASLKDJAKLSZJFLKSDJSDKLZJS

No.10: !!! :O :O :O 

MilkMan: Oh no 

McBitch: I’D LIKE TO SUBMIT MY CLUB RESIGNATION FORM PLEA EAND THANK 

CaptainCrunch: …no. This is getting interesting 

McBitch: UFCK YOU 

No.10: YAMAGUCHI DO YOU LIKE US

MilkMan: DUM,BASS HINATA YOU CAN’T ASK PEOPLE THAT

Insomnia: yeah you can 

McBitch: TSUKIDJADKAJSSADS  
McBitch: I DO  
McBitch: BUT I’M NOT A BOY AND I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO LIKE ME THINKING IM CIS

No.10: I literally don’t care??  
No.10: I like you for you and so does Yama-Yama Dumbass? 

MilkMan: HINATA BOKE  
MilkMan: I HATE YoU 

McBitch: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Insomnia: THEY LIKE YOU JUST GO HAVE LUNCH WITH THEM ALREAdy  
McBitch: OKYA  
McBitch: THANK UFORE VER TSUKKI

Insomnia: tch 

Sugass: WHAT  
Sugass: JUST HAPPENED

McBitch: O JUST GOT TWO WHOLE BOYFRIEND YEET 

MilkMan: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND A DATEFRIEND???

No.10: !!!!!!! :D :O :D 

Sugass: YAMAGUCHI JUST CAME OUT AND I LOVE ?(them)? FOREVER 

McBitch: I’m GENDERFLUID BUT USE THEY/THEM WHOOPS 

Asahi: !!!  
Asahi: Trans friend!!!

GuardianDick: D O W N WI TH C I S 

McBitch: You two are trans!!!!!???!!!! 

Asahi: I’m actually a girl! :)

GuardianDick: I’m not a girl! But I have no weewee!!!

Sugass: I LOVE MY TRANS FRIENDS SO MUCH WOWOW  
Sugass: BLESS THIS CHAT 

McBitch: I was so worried! To come out! As not cis!  
McBitch: I thought I’d be kicked out!

CaptainCrunch: this team is so lgbtqia+ that I cry  
CaptainCrunch: even Tanaka, a known hetroromantic, is ace

Tank: it’s beautiful: :’) 

KINKo: I still can’t believe Tsukishima is the ultimate wingman :/

McBitch: he’s SO SALTY BUT HE LOV HIS BFF  
MCBitch: UR MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER TSUKKI 

Insomnia: :/  
Insomnia: I tolerate you :/ 

McBitch: HE’S LYING HE JUST SENT ME A SAPPY ‘UR MY BEST FRIEND TOO AND I CARE A LOT ABOUT YOU AND UR HAPPINESS’ TEXT  
McBitch: U LOVF ME 

Insomnia: :/ :/ :/ 

No.10: THANK U TSUKISHIMA I HAVE 1 NEW DATEFRIEND 

MilkMan: yeah you have given us a gift 

Insomnia: ???  
Insomnia: No???  
Insomnia: y’all just needed a nudge???? But u did it all on ur own??? 

KINKo: Tsukishima has a heart, pass it on 

Insomnia: no.

Nah: awe! Our personality stunted child is growing up! :’) 

Insomnia: fuck you

McBitch: TSUKKiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!! :D

Insomnia: :^/ 

McBitch: :D

Insomnia: :)

Sugass: That’s so pure I cri everytim  
Sugass: but stop texting, we're In class now and Daichi just got he phone took 

Nah: we're dead lmao  
Nah: nice to have known u, i'll remember y'all when we run suicides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes tsukki will tsuffer for being too good of a wingman


	3. bitter boi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is in a relationship but Tsukishima, Narita is #SadAndSalty, and Tsukishima???? Isn't????? Mean?????? 
> 
> (This chapter was supposed to be about Asahi bcause I love her but WHOOPS! DRAMA!!!)

[6:17 PM]  
Sugass: @Daichi: When I can feel my ass u can get some :/  
Sugass: which is gonna be never after those laps :/ 

CaptainCrunch: lmao but ur butt’s gonna look even better after all the stuff I planned next time these hooligans get me in trouble ;^) 

Sugass: nooooooooo I’m begging you :’( 

Asahi: We’ll all have cute butts, but at what cost? 

GuardianDick: Asahi’s ur butt is already gr8 tho. It’s a quality ass on a quality girl 

Asahi: kzjksjadkjsakasjdklsajd 

McBitch: NGL, everyone on this team has a fine ass but tsukki.  
McBitch: he too skinny :/ 

Insomnia: @ me u ho 

Yacchan: okay but Kiyoko’s butt tho :V :V :V 

Queen: my butt is very fine, I do squats and run every day

Yacchan: SHE DOES SQUATS GUYS ASDFSALKSKALSALKSALSKK

GuardianDick: The Queen has blessed this chat, rt for 100 years good luck 

Asahi: rt

Sugass: rt

McBitch: rt 

DirectorShit: rt

Tank: rt

Yacchan: I’m gay 

Nah: Bitch me 2 wtf 

KINKo: BABe 

Nah: ;) <3 

KINKo: HE SEN ME HERT  
KINKo: HE SEN ME LOV

Yacchan: #RelatableGayContent

Queen: Hikota, you are gay content and I love you for that

Yacchan: !!!!!! <3 <3 (O//V//O) <3 <3 

Yacchan: I’M GAY 

Nah: Everyone on this chat is in a relationship but Ennoshita and Tsukishima lmao 

DirectorShit: excuse u I’m dating that guy from Daichi’s class  
DirectorShit: He’s got a nice ass too btw 

Nah: The only one left is our emotionally stunted child, tsukishima 

Insomnia: Narita, you look so nice and sweet irl :^)  
Insomnia: But ur so rude wth :^) 

Nah: :^) 

GuardianDick: DON’T CALL OUR KOHAI OUT LIKE THAT?????

Asahi: He’s doing his best. Don’t be mean to him :( 

GuardianDick: U made Asahi disappointed in you, apologize to her >:(

Nah: nah

DirectorShit: Narita u bitch 

KINKo: He’s salty because tsukishima teased him in the locker room lmao 

Nah has changed their name to BIGsalt 

BIGsalt: maybe 

Insomnia: ??? why tho???? 

 

Asahi: Everyone knows Tsukishima is not mean? He’s just kind of bitter and lethargic???

McBitch: Asahi, you beautiful woman, you have summed up Tsukki so perfectly I cri 

BIGsalt: He’s mean tho :’( :’( :’( 

KINKo: you big baby  
KINKo: I’m coming over lmao 

BIGsalt: ok :’( 

DirectorShit: He’s just a #SadInsecureSaltBoy today, no need to be alarmed everyone lol 

CaptainCrunch: u okay Tsukishima lmao 

Insomnia: I’m??? Not mean intentionally tho???

McBitch: we know and we love you 

Insomnia: don’t meme at me at a time like this  
Insomnia: I’m don’t try to be maen? 

McBitch: you okay? We know you just like to tease

Sugass: yeah, you’re more of a grumpy old man than a bully  
Sugass: You’re not mean 

Insomnia has left the chat 

McBitch: D: 

BIGsalt: If i made him upset with my #Drama, I'm really not mad at him!!! I was just being Extra!

McBitch: I'll call him and make sure he knows that! D: D: 

MilkMan: Tsukishima seems to take some things too literally  
MillkMan: can we add him back to the chat so he knows no one is mad at him?  
MilkMan: I do that too and i dont want him to think we're upset at him forever

McBitch: Good ideal!!! I love you!!! For being so thoughtful!!!

McBitch has added Insomnia

Insomnia has left the chat 

McBitch: he's not picking up his phone 

No.10: do you need a ride home? My mom is supposed to be at Kageyama's house soon and she can drive us to his house

McBitch: Yeah! Please! 

BIGsalt: I tried to pm him and apologize for being a dick and #Extra but he hasn't opened it yet 

McBitch: it's fine Narita! He's just mad at himself! 

CaptainCruch: Is he going to be okay? He seems so confident in himself and I'm really worried from seeing him react like that 

McBitch: we'll see! i'll pm when i know more. Hinata's mom is dropping me off at his house 

Asahi: ok! Be safe!! :( We'll be waiting! Tell us we hope he feels better!!!

McBitch: I'll make sure I do Asahi! 

BIGsalt: ooooooh noooooo

Asahi: I hope he's okay! 

Sugass: yeah :/ Yamaguchi knows him better than we do though! They're his best friend! I'm sure he'll be fine Asahi :)


	4. Slep Boi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki is slep and Asahi is our savior

[11:38 PM]

McBitch: tsukki's fine lmao  
McBitch: he gets emotional when he's tired 

BIGsalt has changed their name to Nah

Nah: I am #releived 

Asahi: not to be blunt, but he looked pretty exhausted at practice! Is he doing alright? 

CaptainCrunch: yeah he's been dead on his feet for a couple day 

McBitch: he gets insomnia and night terrors bad sometimes and doesn't sleep but his mom is making him take sleeping pills again 

Asahi: again?

McBitch: yah again :/   
McBitch: y'all up for a late night video call?

Asahi: yeah!

CaptainCrunch: yep

Sugass: hmu

KINKo: me and narita are 

Queen: sure 

McBitch has started a video call

"Hey, can you all see me?" Yamaguchi's face came into focus in a semi dark room. Soon, most of the chat members entered the call. 

"Yeah we can see you. Is Tsukishima alright?" Daichi asked, the tableside lamp the only thing visible in the camera frame. Yamaguchi's camera switched to a front view. Tsukishima laid sprawled over a couch with matted hair and several blankets. A blonde woman with his head in her lap tiredly waved to the camera. 

"He's totally out. He'll be fine hopefully by practice tomorrow." The camera zoomed in to Tsukishima's tear stained face. "He was so tired! When I got in he was crying about ceratopsids. We finally got him to sleep after we promised we wouldn't leave him in the room alone." 

"Oh geeze." Asahi covered her mouth with her hand and let out a shaky sigh. "I feel so bad for him." 

"I feel like shit for being a dick to all of you. I'm so sorry and-" Narita started, a panicked look crossing his face.

"Any other day he would have been thrilled to have someone to be extra and salty with. It's chill." Yamaguchi gave them a casual wave of their hand. "He'll just feel super embarrassed about all this later."

"...how often does he get like this?" Asahi played with the ends of her hair, frowning at the camera anxiously.

"I know that look! You are not going to worry yourself to death about this ma'am!" Daichi demanded. "I'm going to bed. Tell tsukishima to feel better soon." 

"I'm going to sign off. Tsukki's mom has work in the morning and we're both going to try and get some sleep. Hopefully Tsukki sleeps all night too but that might be a bit of a stretch after the week he's been having." Yamaguchi waved and turned off their camera.

"Goodnight y'all" 

"See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, later."

[7:47 AM]

Insomnia: yeah I need uh,,,,   
Insomnia: a club resignation form,,,,,

McBitch: ho don't test me 

CaptainCruch: and balance has been restored 

Sugass: we need a no quitting ur one of us now rule   
Sugass: once U share one emotion u are required to stay

Insomnia: ew

DirectorSHIT: ya that's gross :/ 

Asahi: required team group hugs???

CaptainCrunch: ew :/

GuardianDick: I will hug you goodfrog ;V

Asahi: :D

Tank: d'aw :')

Sugass: today feels like it's going to be better :)


	5. Validation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trans and need validation so Asahi, Yamaguchi, and Noya are getting validated lmao

[12:02 PM]   
McBitch sent MILKBOYCUTE.jpg  
McBitch: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

No.10: he drink the milk,   
No.10: I cri every time

KINKo: I always think pple joke about kageyama loving milk, but DAMn do he lov dat milk 

McBitch: HE DOESSSSSSSSS  
McBitch: He’S??? SO CUTE???

No.10: Look at that face and say he’s not cute :D 

Insomnia: well,,,,, hate to break it to y’all :/ :/ :/ 

McBitch: shush up mr. bitch pants, We are habvving a moment here   
McBitch: a very androsexual one 

No.10: I’m,,,,, not straight,,,,,,,   
No.10: he looks so sleepy and content???  
No.10: it should be illegal 

Sugass: awe!!!!  
Sugass: I could just pinch his diddly damn cheeks :V 

MilkMan: please don’t…  
MilkMan: and you two are literally sitting next to me???? 

No.10: so everyone else needed to see how cute u are tho :D 

Tank: MY KOIHAI ARE SO CUTE I CANNAE BELIEVE   
Tank: :’)

GuardianDick: Ikr???? We’re both old men now ryuu, looking at our younger friends with nostalgia of when we could get erections and shit :’)

Tank: dude, im literally crbing wtf  
Tank: speaking of erections I just thought of that time u pulled out ur packer and threw it at some transphobe’s head when we were first years asdsfhfgjghkkl;

GuardianDick: He NEEDED to Fucking Suck My Dick ThO. I have a fake peen and money I don’t have to use on Viagra. What did he have? No life and a whole lot of fake dick smacking him against the head. 

McBitch: noya-senpai you a role model 

McBitch has changed the chat name to “I Cri Everytim”

Yacchan: I’m #Shook that is literally the best thing ever 

Tank: That is the moment we became best friends, like  
Tank: we were close before because Shimizu-san but not like when the penis smacking happened   
Tank: He got detention for throwing shade (and dik) and I got detention for punching the guy when he tried to throw hands when noya turned his back :’)

DirectorSHIT: and they’ve been attached by the hip and been grossly affectionate bffs ever since 

McBitch: ADASKLDJASKDJASKJD  
McBitch: THAT IS SO HEARTWARMING I’M

CaptainCrunch: the best part is when they got to practice that evening though  
CaptainCrunch: OLD COACH UKAI IN HIS 1000000 YEAR OLD GLORY WANTED TO THROW HANDS WITH THE TRANSPHOBE 

Sugass: omggggg yes  
Sugass: that practice was lit I s2g 

Asahi: I’m so glad him and current coach Ukai are so tolerant because??? I would have never came out if old coach ukai hadn’t yelled at me a lot to believe in myself and young coach Ukai worked out special arrangements for overnight and stuff (me and noya share a room now) when I told him? And I think he did it in a way so Takeda-sensei and the school doesn’t know 

Sugass: can I add young coach ukai so I can thank him for being so good to my friends? I’m crying right now? 

CaptainCruch: how do u have his username? 

Sugass: Hinata gave it to me

CaptainCrunch: HOW did He GeT It???

No.10: i ask him a lot of questions and he said “Look kid, just text me alright?” and bam? I got his user! :D

CaptainCrunch: well fuck, ok then? Asahi, Noya, you okay letting Suga be a sentimental ass?

Ashai: haha yeah :) I think suga is getting a little bit too excited? It's not a big deal...

GuardianDick: TEAM MOM TEAM MOM TEAM MOM!!! I LOVE VALIDATION, PLEASE TELL ME I'M THE BEST BOY BECAUSE I AM

Sugass has added Fucker to the chat 

Fucker: Who is this wtf?

No.10: Hello! :D

Fucker: oh   
Fucker: dammit 

Fucker has changed his name to CoachIdiot 

CoachIdiot: What do you all need? I’m kind of in the middle of a lunch date so….

Sugass: THANK YOU FOR ENSURING MY PALS ARE SAFE AND IN CORRECT ACCOMMODATIONS   
Sugass: ASAHI IS A QUEEN AND DESERVES RESPECT AND PRETTY HAIR BRAIDS EVERY DAY BECAUSE IT MAKES HER HAPPY AND IDK WHO WOULDN'T WANT SUCH AN AMAZING GIRL TO BE HAPPY??? I'M SO GLAD SHE'S MY FRIEND ASADASLDKASLDJAKSJDKSAL  
Sugass: AND NOYA IS THE BEST BOY AND HE IS SO GOOD???? HE'S THE BEST LIBERO EVER AND SUCH AN AMAZING GUY TO HAVE GOTTEN THE HONOR TO KNOW AND PLAY WITH???  
Sugass: THANK YOU???

CoachIdiot: Treating someone with human decency is not that big of a deal  
CoachIdiot: Asahi and Noya are good kids and honestly if any of you need special accommodations just ask ok?

McBitch: Ok so I have a question tho,,,,,,  
McBitch: if im not a guy or a girl what can u do for me like??? Is there any resolution to my woes???

CoachIdiot: yeah   
CoachIdiot: there’s a bathroom on the backside of the clubroom building that stays empty with a locked door. Sleeping arrangements ok or???

McBitch: noah fence to any of you but I don’t want to sleep in the boy’s room? If that wouldn’t be a problem that is!

Asahi: If they want to share a room us, we wouldn’t mind! 

CoachIdiot: there you go  
CoachIdiot: anything else? 

McBitch: we’re peachy keen in the neighborhood my dude 

CoachIdiot: I actually have to know who you are tho   
CochIdiot: so I know who’s going in what room 

McBitch: Oh!  
McBitch: I’m Yamaguchi  
MBitch: sorry. 

CoachIdioy: alrighty   
CoachIdiot: What pronouns do you want me to use in practice when I yell @ u?

McBitch: They/Them/Theirs! I’m genderfluid!

CoachIdiot: gotcha   
CoachIdiot: now excuse me, I have a lunch date to finish you damn hooligans 

CoachIdiot has left the chat 

McBitch: what just happened?

Insomniac: congratulations ur valid 

McBitch: Aaaaaaaa

Asahi: welcome to the club! :D

McBitch: I FEEL SO HAPPY??? WTF???

Noya: bask in the gender euphoria young one

No.10 sent THEYARESOHAPPY.jpg

No.10: they’re crying and im crying and wow 

Sugass: Don’T Cry Yamaguchi!!!!   
Sugass: shit im crying im so happy for y’all

CaptainCrunch: Suga is gets lit from his friend’s happiness pass it on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm here   
> I'm queer  
> I want correct genitalia   
> :^)


	6. sadness milkshakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u all thought i was done with tsukishima didnt u lmao

[7:56 PM]   
Sugass: listen,,,,  
Sugass: not to be nosey,,,  
Sugass: but I wonder who went on a date with ukai today 

CaptainCrunch: Literally same. he only yelled at us like? Two times? 

Asahi: I don’t like to be yelled at but felt cheated? Out of constructive criticism?

CaptainCrunch: Asahi, u almost cry when I proofread ur essays  
CaptainCrunch: Constructive criticism my ass 

Asahi: wow suddenly I cannot read 

Sugass: youre breaking our friend’s glass heart Daichi  
Sugass: you can literally hear the sound of her heart shattering on the floor :/

Asahi: …wow. How original.  
Asahi: you spent a whole 0.5 seconds on that comeback didn’t you?

Sugass: Noya ur grounded for corrupting Asahi 

GuardianDick: Don’t look at me, she did it all on her own ;)

DirectorSHIT: Ye that’s sweet and all but???  
DirectorSHIT: I want to know dirt on Coack Ukai? 

KINKo: same tbh   
KINKo: when me and the ~boyfriend~ left his shop after practice some blond dude came in and was flirting with him and they were both blushing so??? Maybe that’s him? 

Sugass: pics or it didn’t happen 

Insomnia: ho don’t do it 

KINKo: ???

McBitch: Ohohohohoho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
McBitch: do I know what’s happening?

Insomnia: …no…………

McBitch: !!!!!  
McBitch: HOLY SHIT REALLY!!!!!! 

Insomnia: …I hate you……….. :/ 

McBitch: SEND THE PIC KINOSHITA 

KINKo: idk what’s going on but ok?   
KINKo has sent WhoIsHe?.jpg

McBitch: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Insomnia: ok,,, so about that club resignation form again??? 

Tank: THAT’S TSUKISHIMA’S BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!

Insomnia: idk what ur talking about   
Insomnia: who is this tsukishima you speak of? :/

Tank: HIM AND MY SISTER ARE BFFS!  
Tank: THEY GO OUT SHOPPING TOGETHER ALL THE TIME!!!!!

GuardianDick: THAT’S YOUR BROTHER?????

DirectorSHIT: ok, he looks so much like Tsukishima it’s scary tho?   
DirectorSHIT: Tsukishima if u was to grow out ur hair and wear contacts you’d be as hot as ur brother???

Insomnia: I don’t know any of you. Karasuno who? 

CaptainCrunch: @Ennoshita same? In a weird way? 

Insomnia: OhMyGoD

Sugass: but are they dating tho???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

McBitch: yeah tsukki share with the class ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Insomnia: sakjdsakjdksajd  
Insomnia: a little but you never heard it from me alright?   
Insomnia: my brother is already gross enough gushing about his, and I quote, “hot new boyfriend” every chance he gets 

Sugass: ;V ;V ;V  
Sugass: I’m living  
Sugass: we’re all so gay??? And not cis??? And not straight??? 

Tank: crows of a feather flock together ;)

Sugass: GET OUTTTTTTTTTT

DirectorSHIT: so do you have any more cute older brothers???  
DirectorSHIT: asking for a newly single friend,,,,,,

Nah: bitch he didn’t

DirectotrSHIT: he did :(

Nah: can we kill him? I can also rub my slimy gay hands all over him if it makes you feel better? 

DirectorSHIT: nah, it’s okay. :/   
DirectorSHIT: I’m just ready for a relationship with someone who won’t use me to do their school work or suck their dick to see if they’re “really into guys”

Nah: I’m so sorry pal…  
Nah: want to hang out with me and Kino later? We’re going for a junk food run and buying a cheesy romcom 

KINKo: yeah! Come on! We’ll buy a bunch of food and roll around on Narita’s couch until 3 AM   
KINKo: we’ll even buy some icecream to cry into 

DirectorSHIT: …I’d really love that. Thank you guys. 

Nah: np my dude ;)  
CaptainCrunch: can I rub my slimy gay hands on him?   
CaptainCrunch: like my fist?   
CaptainCrunch: like to hit him? 

DirectorSHIT: …..idk, if it’ll make u feel better?  
DirectorSHIT: …..Just record it if u do ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) …..

Sugass: that’s a yes please I am desperate for someone to fight him if I ever saw one! :D 

CaptainCrunch: no one :) messes with :) my teammates :) 

McBitch: Daichi is the #1 father figure in our lives pass it on 

DirectorSHIT: I’m heading over nerds, break out the Sadness Blanket™ 

KINKo: done out and ready to eat ice cream under 

Nah: u better hurry up, it looks so inviting   
Nah: u should feel special, I’m going to let you use it all night

DirectorSHIT: ,,,I’m honored 

[2: 46 AM]   
Nah has sent WhoHurtHim.jpg   
Nah: he’s just??? Sitting there??? Looking so sad???

Sugass: why is tsukishima at Mcdonald’s at 3 am?  
Sugass: why are y’all at Mcdonalds at 3 am? 

KINKo: Ennoshita wanted sadness icecream and I wanted a borger   
KINKo: we’re grown men suga let us do what we want?

Nah: his hot brother is with him supplying him with a strawberry milkshake   
Nah: ur pal with only like,,, 3 emotions is at mcD’s at 3 am looking sad wyd?

McBitch: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmgn   
McBitch: I would not interrupt, if he’s relying on Akiteru for emotional support something’s up

Nah: too late we’re done sitting at the table with him eating sadness icecream together  
Nah: whoops 

DirectorSHIT: his brother is shook  
DirectorSHIT: he though Tsukishima had like,,, 2 friends total???

McBitch: tsukki’s not very good at making new friends……  
McBitch: and honestly, he probably thinks he only has one friend (me) because of his 3 emotions and all 

Asahi: ,,,,I want to,,, be his friend????

McBitch: he has like,,, 13 friends other than me and doesn’t even realize it 

No.10: Yeah! He’s an asshole but he’s honestly helped me and Kageyama so much with dating Yamaguchi it’s not even funny. I’ve pmed him about date ideals idk how many times and he always comes up with stuff me and yamayama could have never thought of that our datefriend likes

MilkMan: Yeah….   
MilkMan: He’s not my favorite but out of everything I’ve learned about having friends and being around all of you is that sometimes you have to let people warm up to you   
MilkMan: and it’s taken a while but he’s honestly not as much of a jerk I though he was 

McBicth: ,,, that was so sweet of u two? I cri evrytime? But how is he? He got a little sleep yesterday but he didn’t feel so hot today 

Nah: He’s just laying with his head on the table? He looks awful, like, I know he doesn’t sleep that much but he looks really pale and gaunt   
Nah: And his brother keeps trying to feel him real food but Tsukishima’s just barley sipping his milkshake

KINKo: what do we do Yamaguchi? 

McBitch: give him space. Let him know that you’re his friends and when he’s ready to talk about it, you all will be there to listen.  
McBitch: and be honest with him, like, don’t say anything you don’t mean. He’ll appreciate that   
McBitch: also, help Akiteru force-feed him. He doesn’t eat enough. 

Nah: Noted   
Nah: we’ll update you on our tear-fest later 

CaptainCrunch: I honestly thought tsukishima would be the least likely to have a breakdown but here we are worried about his mental health at 3 AM as he drinks a depression milkshake   
CaptainCrunch: I want to protect you all but then y’all do shit like this, like how the fuck am I supposed to beat ur brain up for being a bitch to you? I can’t, that’s how.  
CaptainCrunch: We’re running laps tomorrow and learning about selfcare and no one can stop m e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO!!! I am very glad y'all enjoyed the Validation! Because more is yet to come next time! I love validating people :') And Asahi is a queen and deserves more of it :') and Noya is the best boi :') and Yamaguchi could tell it like it is and everyone appreciate them even more because they're Yamaguchi :')


	7. #LetKinkBoyBeDaddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm much sorry :')  
> Very Late.
> 
> plus, 7 is my favorite number so hap 7 chapter! :D

[4:23 AM]  
Nah: …We take back everything we ever said about tsukishima’s hot brother, he’s a huge nerd   
Nah: a hot nerd  
Nah: why is coach ukai dating a hecking nerd 

DirectorSHIT: he’s hot 

Nah: but? He’s also a huge nerd? How did you miss that part? 

Asahi: as nice as tsukishima’s brother is how is tsukishima? 

Nah: o  
Nah: he’s fine 

Asahi: that’s great! :)

McBitch: thank fuck 

CaptainCrunch: can I yell at him now? 

KINKo: don’t yell at my son, he’s fragle

Nah: fragle  
Nah: and yeah, me and kink boy and enno unofficially adopted him   
Nah: I looked up paperwork and everything   
Nah: but I doubt his brother and mom would sign because they’re huge nerds that love our resident string bean

DirectorSHIT: it’s true, Narita asked if he could adopt tsukishima and his brother just awkwardly laughed and declined the offer 

Nah: it’s ok tho because he bought us milkshakes  
Nah: he also almost cried when we said we we’re tsukishima’s friends

KINKo: I think tsukishima almost cried when we said we were all friends tbh

Nah: he’s fragle u monster don’t pick on our son like that 

CaptainCrunch: I though you said he was okay?!?!!? 

Nah: oh  
Nah: well he’s fine NOW  
Nah: we had a heart to heart and then we adopted him   
Nah: but he’s okay now and probably home rn 

Asahi: hhhhhhhhhh  
Asahi: all of you bust my nerves and do me a concern I swear

DirectorSHIT: it’s who we are as people 

McBitch: but he?  
McBitch: Ok now?

Nah: yah

McBitch: Bless

CaptainCrunsh: y’all go to sleep so I can yell at you in the morning okay? Okay. 

 

[6:56 AM]  
Nah: son blease   
Nah: me only child

KINKo: fruit of our loins  
KINKo: my heir

DirectorSHIT: yo lil shit 

Insomnia: I h8 u all a PSA

KINKo: now now, ur grandfather Daichi was just worried about u :^(

Insomnia: Force. Fed. 

Nah: he’s got us there.   
Nah: sorry son but it had to be done. u skinny and we lobe u :(

KINKo: do u know what tsukishima should call us now?

Insomnia: DON’T ASDFDGHJK;LJ

KINKo: ;^) 

CaptainCrunch: BANNED

GuardianDickty: LET HIM BE DADDY 

McBitch: #kinkshaming

Sugass: #LetKinkoBeDaddy

CaptrainCrunch: NO

Insomnia: please don’t 

KINKo: but son 

Insomnia: No.

Tank: ngl Kino just isn’t daddy material   
Tank: sorry dude :/

KINKo: daddy tank has spoken :’( 

Tank: ew  
Tank: ur gross  
Tank: I have dedicated my life to our lord and savior volleyball and u try to kink me, disgusting.  
Tank: #Don’tTouchMeI’mTooAsexual

KINKo: ;^)

Nah: #KinkshameKINKo2k17

KINKo: ;^( 

Insomnia: d I s g u s t I n g 

CaptainCrunch: I agree with malnutrition 

Insomnia: fuck you and your thighs Sawamura Daichi

McBitch: ooooOOOOOOOOOO  
McBitch: TSUKKI   
McBitch: NICE

CaptainCrunch: I will body slam both of u   
CaptainCrunch: don’t test me 

McBitch: that’s hot 

MilkMan: no

McBitch: oh tobio~~~~~~~ ;V 

MilkMan: NO

No.10: ;) ;) ;)

MilkMan: I’m breaking up with both of u  
MilkMan: I can’t believe Hinata logged on with Yamaguchi’s phone just to post that 

Insomnia: didn’t shrimpy lose his phone??? 

MilkMan: y e s 

No.10: I take my position of the annoying bf very seriously and have to take opportunities that are presented to me  
No.10: with the help of the greatest datefriend in the world ofc

Insomnia: I’m never talking to any of you three again   
Insomnia: if Yachi and Kiyoko weren’t also gross and in love I’d eat lunch with them but alas

DirectorSHIT: eat lunch with me and we can be bitter and single together :^) 

Insomnia: :^|

DirectorSHIT: ???

Insomnia: eat with them 8^|

DirectorSHIT: ???

Insomnia: EAT. Lunch. With. Your. ~PALS~ 8^| 

Insomnia: goo goo eyes McBitch makes the same face

McBitch: WAIT IS?

Insomnia: mmmmhm. 

CaptainCrunch: What? Is happening? 

DirectorSHIT: is Tsukishima a telepath WTH  
DirectorSHIT: AND YAMAGUCHI COMNNECTED THOSE FUCKING DOTS TOO QUICK WTH PAL  
DirectorSHIt: how even???   
DirecotSHIT: ok?? i will????

Insomina: y’all have fun, I’ll find somewhere elso to eat lunch 

McBitch: nooooooo eat with us :(

Insomnia: too much affection

Yacchan: you can eat with us! :D  
Yacchan: I have a cool new poster ideal I need criticism on ;)  
Yacchan: and kiyoko said “tell him I said please” and has strawberry shortcake ;O

Insomnia: …fine  
Insomnia: but only because it’s physically impossible to say no to you two 

Yacchan: that’s the spirit!!! :D

McBitch: .... :(  
McBitch: okay have fun...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BITCH, KINK BOY AND KAZOO GONNA GET A NEW BF SOON YEET 
> 
> TSUKKI STOP IGNORING UR PROBLEMS 
> 
> DAICHI IS A OVERLY SUPPORTIVE FRIEND WHO WILL PUNCH YOU IF HE THINKS IT WOULD HELP


	8. Dumb Dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah,,,, Kageyama is neurodivergent. :/   
> Sorry, I dont make the rules :/

[12:24 PM]  
Yacchan: so…  
Yacchan: I’m gay

KINKo: yes  
KINKo: we’ve established that 

Yacchan: well, funny story…  
Yacchan: someone though I was dating tsukishima and I am ???  
Yacchan: very confused  
Yacchan: we I not straight(gay)forward enough?  
Yacchan: did I not kiss my girlfriend enough and cry about her beauty loudly enough?  
Yacchan: did I not show my high ranking on the lesbian totem to everyone? 

No.10: blugh. Someone thought you were straight?   
No.10: gross :/   
No.10: ALSO! Thank you for helping me find my phone! :V

Yacchan:I know????? And it wasn’t a problem eternal sunshine friend in my life????  
Yacchan: but back to the story,   
Yacchan: tsukishima looked offended and I looked offended and we looked at each other equally offended  
Yacchan: and then Kiyoko showed up and was like ‘???what’s going on???’  
Yacchan: so I got really upset and anxious ofc   
Yacchan: and Tsukshima   
Yacchan: my new favorite bff  
Yacchan: said  
Yacchan: “She’s a lesbian Harold. They’re both lesbians” and pointed at Kiyoko AND

MilkMan: WHAT THE FUCK 

Yacchan: AND KIYOKO BURST OUT LAUGHNG AND JUICE CAME OUT HER NOSE AND THE GUY WHO ASKED LEFT AND KEPT APOLOGIZING AND HHHHHHH

MilkMan: TSUKISHIMA 

KINKo: That’s my boy :’)

Nah: I’m so proud????

No.10: I’M SO MAD????? WTF??? THAT’S LEGENDARY. 

MilkMan: they’re lesbians,,,,, Jesus Christ. I’M FUCKING MAD THAT WAS SO SMOOTH???

McBitch: IM CHOKING OMG 

CaptainCrunch: Is Kiyoko-san okay lmao?   
CaptainCrunch: and NICE SERVE TSUKISHIMA 

Yacchan: ya, she’s fine   
Yacchan has send ‘PrettyPeople.jpg’   
Yacchan: they’re both so pretty when they’re happy??? But Kiyoko is an angel when she laughs? (Sorry Tsukishima but you look a little like a gremlin lmao)

No.10: IM SO MAD STILL WTF HOW DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT 

McBitch: I know?????   
McBitch: He can’t take pictures for shit but he somehow still looks good?   
McBitch: I’m jealous???

GuardianDickty: I’m so fucking proud. Tsukishima did it for the meme and made Kiyoko-senpai happy. :’) But ya, Tsukishima is weirdly pretty?? Not as much as his hot brother tho

KINKo: yeah, he’s brother is super hot :/ 

Insomnia: Yachi wtf i look like a gremlin who lives under Kageyama’s couch and catches coins for a living   
Insomnia: why would u send that???  
Insomnia: to everyone?

McBitch: Awwww, Tsukki!   
McBitch: are you embarrassed? 

Insomnia: bitch what if I am   
Insomnia: fight me

McBitch: omw to kick tsukki’s ass  
McBitch: where y’all at   
McBitch: the disrespect   
McBitch: friendship started with Tsukki and Yamaguchi, but now Yachi is my new bff

Insomnia: we’re on the roof

Nah: do a flip

Insomnia: not like that but now I might as well jump. Thanks for the suggestion “Dad” :^)

Nah: wait, not like this son,,,, 

McBitch: if it wasn’t for the laws of this land I would have done killed your bitch ass Tsukki  
McBitch: me and the #Boyfriends are on route 

Insomnia: it’s too late, I’ve done jumped

CaptainCrunch: Tsukishima, do you need a therapist? I can get you an appointment with a therapist.

Insomnia: new phone, who dis?

Yacchan: he’s on a roll guys   
Yacchan: he’s become a meme

KINKo: he gets it from me 

Nah: no, he gets it from me you ass >:^(

DirectorSHIT: no, new boyfriends, he gets it form all of us :’)

Insomnia: I told you so :^) Who told you so Ennoshita? :^) Who told you and persuaded you to eat lunch with them? :^)

DirectorSHIT: I’m suing because u did tbh   
DirectorSHIT: you’re a fucking little shit tsukishima gdi

Sugass: Tsukishima, will you bless me and Daichi’s marriage so we too can be happy and have a successful relationship? 

Insomnia: sounds like a lot of work :^/

Queen: Tsukishima, for a closeted romantic you sure are relationship dumb :^/ 

Insomnia: You bet I am :^/   
Insomnia: I have only two emotions, sadness and dumbass   
Insomnia: I got dumbass when I accidently absorbed personality traits from the idiot duo 

No.10 has sent ‘mydatefriendisscary.jpg’   
No.10: RIP tsukki

MilkMan: I’M STILL MAD???

No.10: why sweet boyfriend are you mad?

MilkMan: TSUKISHIMA???

No.10: ???

MilkMan: HE’S S0 PRETTY??? I WANT TO BE THAT PRETTY???

McBitch: you are pretty tho?? Like??? Really pretty Tobi????

No.10: ya, you’re pretty too dumb dumb??? 

Insomnia: I’m a fucking gremlin (as we’ve established) But??? Kageyama is ridiculously pretty and if anyone should be mad, we should be mad at him??? 

MilkMan: No! Look! Yamaguchi is just very cute and pretty all around and I love them so much and Hinata is a dumbass but he’s cute and handsome and so so pretty and even Tsukishima is so pretty and kinda beautiful and???? I’m not that pretty??? Everyone on our team is so so pretty?

McBitch: Tobio, you are super pretty! >:O

No.10: Oh no!  
No.10: He’s really upset about this :O   
No.10: You’re really pretty Kageyama! Honestly! 

 

Sugass: No no no!!!! Kageyama you are so pretty! Don’t put yourself down! 

MilkMan: Askljadsakkdjfdsjfksldfjlksdjsdfsdaljklf

Insomnia: You idiot, shut your fuck up. You are honestly really handsome and pretty and it’s stupid you would put yourself down like that. Do you think two very attractive people would date you and tell you that you’re equally if not more attractive if they didn’t believe it? That’s so stupid. Youre so stupid you hair brained idiot. 

CaptainCrunch: oh shit   
CaptainCrunch: I see what u mean @Queen 

Sugass: … Yeah! What Tsukishima said but less gay! 

MilkMan: …ksjads 

McBitch: You’re so so pretty tobi and we love you okay? We would lie about that. 

MilkMan: Really? 

No.10: yeah really   
Nio.10: do you want to go to the nurse’s office and sit under the weighted blanket for a little bit? 

MlkMan: please 

No.10: Okay we will. 

MilkMan: …  
MilkMan: Tsukishima will you go with us 

Insomnia: why?  
Insomnia: I mean if you want me too? ???  
Insomnia: ???

MilkMAn: Thank you. 

DirectorSHIT: and I thought I was not straight :/   
DirectorSHIT: That is the most supportive thing Tsukishima has done for anyone who is not Yamaguchi  
DirectorSHIT: @Tsukishima why are u like this???

Insomnia: shut up you guys are killing the baby   
Insomnia has sent ‘WhatAnIdiot.jpg’  
Insomnia: he is not leaving school because you all made him anxious and stressed out over a shitpost chat 

CaptainCrunch: okay, only wholesome things in this chat for the next 24 hours. Tell Kageyama we hope he feels better   
CaptainCrunch: and no throwing shade or talking about each other  
CaptainCrunch: only friendship 

Sugass: Can we be gay too?

CaptainCrunch: I don’t think I could stop you all tbh  
CaptainCrunch: so yeah   
CaptainCrunch: as the only hetrosexual couple, Noya, Asahi you can be straight only a little. 

Asahi: just a little?

CaptainCrunch: ya just a little because u have some weird crush on Noya and ur my best friend and i care about u or something :/

Asahi: …Okay??? Thanks??? You're my best friends too???

GuardianDickty: thank u for blessing our marriage Daichi  
GuardianDickty: I wont regret this :’)


	9. Everyone Hates Suga

[10:45 PM]   
CaptainCrunch: wow I cant believe asahi is dead  
CaptainCrunc: She was so young 

Asahi: u did this, u killed me  
Asahi: all I wanted was some chocolate milk :’(

GuardianDickty: what??? Happened???

Asahi: suga and Daichi killed me

Sugass: why did you caps daichi’s name but not mine???

Asahi: bcause ur dead to me :)

Sugass: WOW

Insomnia: I can’t believe Asahi’s ghost just killed suga :^/

Sugass: I GOT U ANOTHER GLASS   
Sugass: ASAHI PLZ

Daichi: me and suga accidentally tripped Asahi when she was holding some chocolate milk and she dropped it and broke the cup lmao

GuardianDickty: How DO YoU AcidentILY trIP someone???   
GuardianDickty: I will  
GuardianDickty: FIGHT U 

Sugass: we were makin out   
Sugass: things got intense noya :/   
Sugass: ANYWAY we got her another glass and she’s salty now lmao  
Sugass: she’s not talking to us rn

Asahi: Sorry old suga cant come to the phone BCAUSE SHE’s Dead 

MilkMan: If I were you Asahi, I would never talk to them again. That’s a crime. :/

CaptainCrunch: AADSDFJSFDKJ don’t encourage her 

MilkMan: once tsukishima threw my milk box away before I was done with it and we physically fought   
MilkMan: I still haven’t forgiven him for it.

Insomnia: I didn’t know???   
Insomnia: I was cleaning up the 27 empty cartons you and dumbass #2 left laying on my desk???  
Insomnia: Bitterness is not a good look on you :/

MilkMan: I WASN’T DONE

Insomnia: IM NOT SORRY   
Insomnia: I’LL FIGHT YOU AGAIN

Asahi: Kageyama, our pride is in your hands  
Asahi: avenge my class of milk 

Sugass: hhhhhhhhh  
Sugass: ya can I get some,,,, uh,,,, not fight??? 

Asahi: ur an instigator and u know it Suga 

Sugass: tru but this isn’t as entertaining as I thought it’s be :/ 

No.10: Kageyama just left my house and his bag is here lmao   
No.10: I think he went to fight Tsukki

Insomnia: I’m not letting him in :^/

No.10: My bby will get cold because he left his jacket :(

Insomnia: I’ll let him in a little :^/ 

Nah: A textual representation of Tsukishima opening up emotionally

KINKo: tag urself im the :^/ 

Asahi: im kageyama fighting for his milk’s honor 

Sugass: asahi u nerd 

Asahi: no replacement milk will ever make me forget the original suga   
Asahi: he threw a bag of chips at me  
Asahi: this is abuse  
Asahi: friend abuse 

MilkMan: tsukishima open your door its locked 

Insomnia: ughhhhhh  
Insomnia: there’s a key under the fern 

MilkMan: thank you

No.10: kageyama! YOU FORGOT YOUR STUFF!!!

MilkMan: whoops   
MilkMan: I’ll get it tomorrow   
MilkMan: your socks are in my pants pocket by the way 

No.10: Oh! That’s where they went Thanks! :D

Insomnia: how do you two function 

No.10: better than you tsukki ;P

Insomnia: …..  
Insomnia: tru

MilkMan: sorry asahi, I cant fight tsukishima today   
MilkMan: he’s being nice and id feel bad 

Inomnia: bitch you weren’t supposed to tell anyone 

MilkMan: why?

Insomnia: because 

DirectorSHIT: we all know ur secretly soft and a dork, give it up dude 

Insomnia: I’m legit offended   
Insomnia: fight me 

MilkMan: wow, he just typed that with a blush

McBitch: Tsukki you’re a little soft boy, give up the ruse 

Insomnia: y’all can pry it from my cold dead hands 

Asahi: You hide behind me whenever we have a chance of seeing Bokuto at practice matches? (It’s cute?? You’re so smol and soft??? And I will protect u???)

MilkMan: he always lets me and hinata use his fidget toys when we study at his house

Yacchan: He always helps me get things from high shelves before practice 

Sugass: and he’s super polite to adults???

Insomnia: you all are slandering my good name 

McBitch: Because we lobve you!!! ^<^

Insomnia: gross

Asahi: I love you all so much! (even suga I guess :/)  
Asahi: And EXPECIALLY you Noya!!! <3

GuardianDickty: I’m shot with love omg  
GuardianDickty: ilysm Asahi??? 

Sugass: aweeeee I’m forgiven :’)

Asahi: I would go that far :/ 

CaptainCrunch: yeowch you just got drug 

Sugass: Asahi you are a queen, but also a fool. My kink is to be drug by pretty people 

Asahi: gross

Insomnia: I’m disgusted and concerned  
Insomnia: don’t you love yourself Suga? 

Sugass: yeah and my dick loves being told off by pretty people 

Asahi: BaNNED

CaptainCrunch: I’m breaking up with you :/

Sugasss: but ur so pretty Daichi :/

CaptainCrunch: double break up 

Asahi: I’m never having a sleepover with you two again :/ 

Sugass: :/

CaptainCrunch: :/ 

Asahi: I take it back, I hate you suga :/ 

CaptainCrunch: same :/


End file.
